As a rule of thumb, I think the phase before engagement (or making a commitment for life, whether with a formal marriage or not) should be the longer, the younger you were when you first started the relationship. At least a few years if you started dating in your early 20ies or before. (I’m inclined to think something more controversial, too, namely that almost no one should marry before their mid-twenties, no matter how long they’ve been together.) I don’t really get long engagements – the decision to get married should indicate that the commitment is there, so there’s no reason to wait years and years after that.
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